Some days it's harder than others- visiting with the very elderly in long term care. If I've had lots to do, and lots to think about that week, I have to dig a little deeper to be truly present to elders who have to ask my name over and over again during 15 minutes together, who struggle to put their thoughts into words, or to follow the thread of even the most basic conversation. (Come to think of it, they probably have to work a lot harder during our visits than I do!)
My most recent day of visiting was one of the harder ones. I had a number of things going around and around in my mind, both professional and personal when I walked through the sliding doors and applied the always necessary hand sanitiser.
The first person I went to see was soundly asleep- no gentle name calling could wake her. "Great!" I thought, wih a touch of grumpiness I'm off to a great start here! The next person on the list was in the lounge- one of the folks who has been living with dimentia for some time. I called her name, and she looked up "Well, HI there!" in that way you do when you run into a friend unexpectedly in the pasta aisle at the grocery store. I smiled and asked if I could sit beside her for a few minutes. "Sure" she replied, and as I joined her on the couch, she reached out and took my hand. I made a couple of comments about the weather and her health, to which she responded with a couple of words.
Then, as she often does, she began talking to herself- nothing I could follow, but seemingly reliving events from her past. And all the while she never let go of my hand. So I just let her talk, and let her hold my hand while she was talking. I focused on trying to just "be" with her, rather than try and force some kind of social interaction. And even as I sat there, quiet, holding her hand, I felt calmer in my own spirit, and all the things simmering in my mind, drifted to the farthest back burner.
After a few more minutes I said I had to see someone else, but would she like me to say a prayer with her before I left? She looked me full in the face and said with great seriousness "Ab-so-lute-ly!". Still holding hands, I prayed aloud, and she was silent as we entered into that mysterious place where our hearts meet God.
The next visit also held a surprise. This woman and I were able to chat a bit more meaningfully, although she struggled often and slowly to find the words she wanted. At one point, I made a comment about how many of our churches were facing challenging times- less money, less people, etc. etc. and she piped up- with no hesitation and clear as a bell with "Well, you know if we all stopped trying so hard to be perfect all the time, things might go a whole lot better!"
Both of these are Godsome Moments, and although they are very precious they are not uncommon. I don't get a Godsome Moment everytime I visit in LTC, but I get enough of them that I should just stop being surpirsed... and remember to be thankful.
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